TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT

Life

Feb 8

Date

1.8.23

time

1:00 PM

Place

Home Office

Valentine’s Day Hot Take.

Ladies, many of us have Valentine’s Day on the brain, and I have a bit of a hot take when it comes to gifting. It is okay to tell him what you want. And yes, I am being 100% serious with you. Tell HIM.

I’m not sure if you guys know this, but my husband Jason and I had somewhat of a short courtship. We started dating in Spring, and were engaged literally by June, so quite the whirlwind romance, if you will! Through the process of our courtship and the beginning of our relationship, Jason and I got really comfortable communicating what we wanted. We spent a lot of time discussing what we were looking for in a relationship, what we wanted in a marriage, and what we wanted long term. Because we’d had so many of these conversations, the stage was set for me to feel comfortable telling him what I wanted from a ring perspective. So, unbeknownst to me, just a few weeks before Jason proposed I sent him the exact picture of my dream ring. And when he proposed about two weeks later, he had gotten me that exact ring! In that moment, it was really confirmation that it was okay to tell him what I wanted, that within our relationship I had that permission to be clear.

So of course I was bold in sharing my ideal ring with him because it was such an important decision. But over the course of our relationship and our marriage, I have also gotten really comfortable with telling Jason what I want in terms of gifting on smaller occasions, too. I’ll send him the exact product details and description. While I know it’s really lovely to be surprised when receiving a special gift from someone, I think it’s equally fun to be able to just say, “Hey, this is kind of what I want or expect,” and to give your person permission to do that as well.

I know this likely sounds easier said than done depending how you’ve built your relationship with your person. So with that said, I am here for you and have got some tips on how to lovely sharing what you are looking for or wanting without coming across aggressive.

TIP NO. 1

Tip Number 1 - Build him a revolving shopping list. This is just a list that you keep updated with beautiful items that you would love to have at any point in time. This list gives him a little bit of creative room to surprise you, but within the context of things that you would actually be happy to receive. That way, if you’re a bit of a control freak like me, you’re still able to be surprised, but you’ve given him large bandwidth to operate within.

TIP NO. 2

Tip Number 2 - Think ahead! If there is something that you’re really wanting and you’re a gal who likes to send just a one-off link, you need to give him some time. Try to think of what you’re wanting several weeks or even months in advance, and be sure that you give him that link. He’lll be able to save it for whatever holiday is coming up next. If you wait until the week before, that doesn’t build in much time for him, and may make him feel like the surprise aspect would be ruined.

TIP NO. 3

Tip Number 3 - Be sensitive to his personality and what he would actually like to gift. Jason is a big picture person. He’s the epic surprise person. So, I try to give him lots of creative bandwidth to do the epic surprises for me, but I really help him out with the smaller, more minute gifting. For things like Valentine’s Day, various holidays, or my birthday, I very much tell him what I want. But for things like our upcoming ten year anniversary, I’m really giving him the freedom and room to surprise me at the extent that he would because that’s his love language. That’s the way he likes to show his gifting style and love.

Oh, and one last thing to add: while it is absolutely okay for you to tell him what you want, it is also okay for him to pivot, and gift you something that he would just simply like to give you. Let’s be confident in telling him what we want, but not so fixed and rigid that he isn’t able to surprise us with something a little extra special that wasn’t on our wishlist. Chances are, if he’s been paying attention to the things you choose for yourself, he is going to choose something that you’ll really enjoy and appreciate!

Cheers to Valentine’s Day my loves.